Cats go crazy for catnip because it makes them feel good. A small sniff of catnip can trigger feelings of euphoria, making cats calm and playful. Typically, cats will roll around in catnip until the effects wear off, which often takes about 30 minutes to an hour for some cats.
It's hard to believe that last week, I was still a detective on the police force. Now, due to a series of unfortunate events, I'm working for Kingpin and one of his dealers, a feisty feline named Felin. She and I were about to corner the underground catnip market on the West Side.
"Wait, is it spelled cat nip or catnip?" I asked.
"I've seen it both ways," Feline replied. "But, out of curiosity, why do you ask?" She walked over to me.
I showed her my sign. It reads, "Get a Free Hit of Catnip Here!" I painted the words in black letters on a white piece of poster board I got from the art store.
She swatted it out of my hand. "Why are you making that? First of all, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. Second of all, our catnip isn't free! I mean, yes, cats can get a free hit if they need some convincing, but this sign makes it seem like it's all free."
I stared at the poster board on the ground. I paid good money for that.
"You need to back out onto the streets. Your corner today is Downtown on W Mousetrap Ave and N Mewling St. It'll take you about 45 minutes to get there on foot." She explained.
"On foot? Why can't I get a ride like last time?" I asked.
"Because you need to earn a ride. Sell everything today and I'll make your life easier tomorrow."
I hung my head in shame. What a new low. Having to walk to my corner like a common alley cat. I used to have power and authority. Now I'm starting over at the bottom.
"Now!" She hissed. I hopped to my feet and started walking. How lame.
Is Catnip Weed for Cats?
Catnip and weed share some similar characteristics. Both are natural plants that trigger feelings of euphoria, and neither one is addictive or harmful enough to cause an overdose. However, weed is different because its effects last longer, and it comes in many different varieties. Catnip is just a single type of plant, and cats stop reacting to it if they're exposed to too much of it.
My feet ached. My kittens were mewing and hissing at me. I just walked 1.5 miles on the hard concrete of Whisker City to get here. Now that I am here, I'm struggling to remember why I chose this path in the first place.
I felt the bags of catnip in my coat pockets. If cats could sweat, they would all be wet and slimy right now. Fortunately, they're still bone dry.
Dry. Dried catnip. It's been a few days since my last sniff. Maybe one small free hit would give me the energy to sell this stuff. I looked around, checking for any police cats in the area.
I pulled a small pinch out of a baggie and took a big whiff. Images of dancing rats and sausages filled my mind. Life is good.
"Hey buddy, you got some catnip?" A random passerby stopped next to me.
"Who's asking?" I asked.
"Me. I'm asking. You got some of the Green Fairy or what? I have a job interview, and I'd like to calm my nerves before I get there."
"Sure, $15 for one cup of Cat Crack. That's a steal at that price," I replied.
"Purrfect." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. I handed him the bag of catnip. "Thanks, buddy," I said.
My first sale, and I was still riding the catnip wave. If only everyone could be feeling like I am right now. I feel like a lot of Whisker City's problems would go away if everyone just took a hit of 'Nip every so often.
Can Cats Get Addicted to Catnip?
No, catnip is non-addictive. In fact, it's impossible for cats to get addicted because the more they smell the volatile oil Nepatalactone, the less effective it becomes. After the initial feelings wear off, catnip has almost no effect on cats. It can take a few hours or days for the oil to trigger the same feelings.
Today was a good day. I was selling baggies left and right, and there weren't any FED’s (Feline Enforcement Division) around to stop me. It's funny that I'm thinking of them as my adversaries when, just a week ago, they were my work friends. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily hang out with them or anything. Or chit-chat with any of them. But if you asked me if they were my friends, I would say sure. Not like an upbeat "sure," but more of a calm, flat "sure."
Wait, do I have any friends? Have I been a loner for so long that I've alienated everyone who's gotten close to me? Will I be alone forever?
"Hey man, you got any catnip cat toys in that coat?" Someone asked. I snapped back to reality.
"Catnip cat toys? What are those?" I asked.
"You know, toys where you can put cat nip inside and cats play with them. You've never heard of those before? Don't you sell catnip?" They asked.
"Well yeah, but I don't sell any accessories. Are these toys popular?"
"Heck yeah, they are! You should sell some catnip cat toys. They would go like gangbusters," they replied.
Hmmm, catnip toys. I wondered if Felin ever thought about expanding our market share. I imagined standing at a pop-up storefront, wearing a red-striped suit and boater hat. I would look good in that combination.
"Can I get some catnip, please?" The cat asked, shoving money into my hand.
"Oh, right. I only got three bags left. You caught me just in time," I replied.
"Did someone say 'caught you'?" A voice rang out.
The crowd parted, and two FEDs were standing on the side of the sidewalk. They must've just pulled up.
Without thinking, I ran. I could hear them in hot pursuit, but the fear and adrenaline kept me one step ahead. I ducked into an alleyway and jumped a fence. They think they can catch me?
They better think again. Not this time. Not this cat.
What Does Catnip Do to Cats?
Catnip and cats blend perfectly together. A small sniff triggers an olfactory response, which yields a strong sense of euphoria in cats. If a cat ingests catnip, though, it will feel relaxed and drowsy. Eating catnip can help cats fall asleep or relax when they're stressed.
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