What is Cat Crack? Interview With a Catnip Connoisseur - Cat Crack Catnip

What is Cat Crack? Interview With a Catnip Connoisseur

Facebook - Cat Crack Catnip Instagram - Cat Crack Catnip Tik Tok - Cat Crack Catnip Youtube - Cat Crack Catnip

In our regular interview column, 'My Nine Lives,' we meet the ordinary residents of Whisker City with extraordinary tails. (And to be clear, that's a pun about cats having tails, not an explanation that this column is focused on cats who physically 'have extraordinary tails.' That would be silly. And shallow. And entirely subjective. After all, what makes an extraordinary tail? Would it be stripy? Would it be long - or capable of being expressive, no matter what the situation? Would it curl neatly around your body when sleeping so you looked like a statue? There are simply too many factors. Editor: Stop it, you're wittering). 

No, rather, we meet cats who are living nine extraordinary lives – they don't necessarily have to have lost eight, and they certainly shouldn't have lost nine, as that would make interviewing them tricky (Editor: Stop it, you're wittering again) – but they've always pushed the envelope, taken the road less traveled, experienced things that most cats haven't. 

This week, we meet a Catnip Connoisseur, a cat who is employed by the most popular catnip company in Whisker City (Cat Crack) to test their catnip and ensure the highest standards are always maintained. It's a dream job. So how did he get it? Is he always a bit stoned? And why Cat Crack?

Let's kick things off with some briefing notes, which are our furry fact file about cat nip.

My Nine Lives: Briefing Notes

What is Catnip?

To curious kitties not in the know, catnip or nepeta cataria, is a natural herb from the mint family, filled with oils which make us feel giddy. It's the ultimate in kitty entertainment!

Why do Cats Like Catnip?

Oh my claws! When we smell it, we are transported to a magical world of fun and frolics. It also relaxes us, reducing anxiety and enhancing social bonds.

What is Nepetalactone?

Nepetalactone is the secret sauce in catnip that makes us go wild. It's found in the leaves, flowers, and seeds of the plant and is super safe to enjoy. 

My Nine Lives: Meet 'Shiv,' the Cat Crack Connoisseur

Meow Shiv.


So Shiv, tell us how you got into Cat Crack?

Like all cats, I discovered Cat Crack by enjoying a free hit. Back when I was coming up, an old don of the projects named Bumpy took me under his wing. He brought the best catnip into Whisker City – no one knew how – and that catnip is now known as Cat Crack. Back then, the Projects were rough – we were all outcasts, non-doms, we had nothing – but Bumpy gave us a way to survive, selling this great catnip to the nice families Uptown, the best catnip, a good price, everyone was happy. So, for us, every hit was a free hit: party time! 

And when this incredible catnip became what we now know as Cat Crack, he gave you a different job?

No. Bumpy had gone by then – it was up to a young cat called Kingpin to take the reins. And it's not so much that he gave me a job – I just offered my services to him. The kitten was green but strong - just like Cat Crack.

And what does your job involve?

I oversee cultivation and production. We pride ourselves on producing 100% natural catnip, which means no pesticides and no genetic modification. If nature goes into our body, our response is natural too. Plus, Cat Crack is the highest potency catnip available – 78% nepetalactone. We won't be beaten on that. We conduct regular batch testing – which I oversee through stoned, slightly bloodshot eyes – to ensure consistency. It's also important that Cat Crack arrives fresh and without too many stems, which inferior products use to pad things out.

And do you also test the product personally?

Every batch. You can test the numbers all you want, but the only real way to test catnip is to use it. Nothing leaves Cat Crack HQ unless I've given it a good old rub and a sniff. I've spent most of the past few years off my face – it's a tough gig, but my sacrifice is Whisker City's gain. I feel proud. And blessed. And often quite wasted.

How can you tell good catnip from bad?

I've tried every catnip there is – I'm exhausted. If it's called Cat Crack it's good – the best. Some others are OK, but always read the label: if it isn't 100% natural and doesn't have high potency, say 'no, thank you'. Manners cost nothing. If you want the best though, don't bother wasting your money on the rest. It's a false economy – you get less bang for your buck. One sniff of Cat Crack and you'll have a highest quality zoomie lasting a good 15 minutes. It's da bomb.

And how many of your nine lives have you lost?

I live for today, don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. I'm Zen like that. Mainly because I'm usually quite baked. 

And as a Cat Crack Connoisseur, tell us – how should we best enjoy Cat Crack?

There's no right way to take Cat Crack. Be yourself. Feel the vibe. Follow where it leads. Explore your inner eye, and let your body dictate your mood. Sniff if you want to sniff, roll if you want to roll, zoom if you want to zoom, dribble if you want to dribble. Enjoy it with respect, and always pay it forward with a free hit. We only get nine lives. Love your friends. Humor your owners (if you are lucky enough to have any). Enjoy Cat Crack. I might go for a nap now.

Thanks Shiv!

Available On: 

Cat Crack Catnip Amazon - Cat Crack Catnip Walmart Online - Cat Crack Catnip Etsy - Cat Crack Catnip