How Long Does Catnip Last? Tales From a New User - Cat Crack Catnip

How Long Does Catnip Last? Tales From a New User

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Ten minutes. That's all I get.

At least, that's what the guy said. He was a real shifty type. He didn't admit it, but I'm pretty sure he was an undercover cop.

"Dried or fresh?" He asked.

"What's the difference?" I replied.

"Fresh is fresh, and dried is dried. Which one do you want?" He was insistent. I don't blame him. Snitches are always lurking around every corner.

"Well, does catnip go bad?" I asked.

"What do I look like, a botanist?" He snapped.

"Um, fresh, I guess."

In two seconds, the exchange was done. He told me it should last about ten minutes a hit, and then he was gone. I didn't even get to ask where I could find him for the next score.

The entire way back home, my fur stood on end. I felt like everyone was watching me. It was like they all knew I was carrying, and they were all whispering and gossiping about it.

Whenever I heard a siren, I practically jumped out of my skin.

Is Catnip Dangerous? The Fear of Using Catnip

I suppose the first time is always the scariest. The words of Channel 4's news team rang through my ears. "Catnip is dangerous! Don't you know the terrible catnip side effects on cats? It turns them into filthy degenerates!"

But people I know have taken catnip, and they're just fine. In fact, my doctor even takes it in secret to help with his migraines.

I was never one to trust the "official" story. But still, I couldn't help but wonder whether I was making the right choice.

How long does catnip last? Ten minutes. Didn't seem like much, but it's worth a shot.

Experiencing the Catnip Plant for the First Time

The bag sat on the table for what seemed like hours. I just stared at it, almost like I expected it to do something. Four green leaves sat, pressed, in a plastic sandwich bag. Hard to believe that something so small and innocuous could have the whole city on edge.

I sat and stared at it, doing nothing. I wasn't even weighing the pros and cons of using cat nip. My mind just went blank. Yet, for some reason, I didn't even touch it.

Finally, I worked up the nerves. I snatched the bag and inspected its contents. The leaves were small and vibrant. They seemed really fresh, like they were pruned only this morning. If that's true, there must be a massive underground operation in the city. I wondered if the mayor or his "task force" suspected such a thing.

I peeled open the bag slightly and took a short whiff.

Even though it was nothing more than a gentle sniff, I could already feel its effects. My brain tingled, and I started feeling really happy. Without realizing it, I started purring.

After a minute or so, I was back to normal.

No wonder cats are going crazy for this stuff. If a tiny free hit does that, I can only imagine what a big whiff would do.

Or what if I ate it?

What Happens After Using Catnip?

My mind raced. I tried to think back to all the times I've talked to other people who have taken cat nip. Did any of them eat the plant, or did they all just sniff it? If it's just a sniff, how many times can I reuse the same bag?

Does catnip expire? If I eat expired catnip, will I get sick?

Suddenly, my nerves were ramping up. Too many questions, and not enough answers. I was too paranoid to call anyone, lest the call be traced by the authorities.

The last thing I need is to get sent to lockup for being too curious. Curiosity killed the cat, after all.

Maybe I should just take another sniff. A small sniff, just to be safe.

I checked the clock on the wall. 7:48 pm. If I take a hit now, I should be okay by 8 pm. Just in time for Nightline Feline.

My paws trembled as I peeled the bag open again. I held my breath as I put it up to my nose. Just a small sniff, nothing too major.

Suddenly, as if compelled by the ghost of cats past, I took the biggest whiff I've ever taken in my life. I must've sniffed the bag for a full 10 seconds straight.

The tingling sensation started in my nose. It was like a fire hose of ecstasy, bathing my nostrils in pure delight. The tingling spread up to my head, and then radiated out to the rest of my body.

In mere seconds, I was on the floor, rolling and purring and pawing at anything I could reach. I was a kitten again, just mindfully swatting at anything that moved.

All worries and doubts drained from my body. All the questions, all the concerns over getting caught red-pawed and hauled off to jail. In this moment, the only thing that mattered was the feeling of the soft carpet against my fur. I rubbed the floor again and again, just enjoying the feeling.

Time became a blur. I shuffled myself along the floor, moving from one area to the next. My mind danced with joy with every passing minute. By the time I came to, I was in my bedroom. My shirt was off, and I was rubbing myself against the comforter.

Is Catnip Actually Good For Cats?! The Side Effects of Catnip

I checked the time again. 8:13 pm. That was way more than ten minutes. Maybe because it was fresh it lasted longer? Or, maybe because it was my first time taking cat nip?

I held my head, waiting for any side effects. A headache, a sore stomach, anything to bring me down from this euphoric feeling.

But nothing happened. I was still more relaxed than I was before I used the 'Nip, but I had no adverse side effects.

Could it be? Is catnip just good for you without any downsides? But if that's the case, why are the higher-ups so against it?

I made my way back to the living room. The bag was still sitting on the table, open and beckoning me to take another free hit. While I was tempted, I didn't want to overdo it for my first time.

Also, if sniffing the catnip plant was enough to send me into such a pleasant mood, I'm sure it'll have the same effect tomorrow.

Unless catnip goes bad, that is.

I sealed the bag and put it away in my cupboard behind the flour and sugar. Just in case, I told myself. Just in case they raid my place looking for contraband.

Who would do such a thing? I don't know. But paranoia lingered in my brain.

Time to watch Nightline Feline. I hope the news doesn't reverse the good mood I'm in.

Good night, cat nip. Until tomorrow.

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