Today, purry pollsters announced the results of an extensive Whisker City fur-vey, which revealed that 8 out of 10 cats preferred high potency and 100% natural Cat Crack to any other catnip available. Coming up, we reveal the four big reasons why: can you guess what they are?
What Does Catnip Do to Cats?
Since it arrived on the catnip scene just a couple of years ago, Cat Crack has gone from cult, word-of-mouth wonder-drug, to high street hiss-steria triggering hit. The fur-vey results – which will be a serious blow to Kitty Corp’s previously market-monopolizing, mass-produced brands, including Canny Cat, De La Crop, and Purrrrrb, which most respondents now refer to as being ‘crap’ – reveal just how much the general pussycat public have taken to Cat Crack.
Cat Crack has been billed by veterinarians, feline performance coaches, and kitty consumers alike as the ‘real deal’ – a catnip proven through blind testing and user feedback to be the strongest, most organic, and most effective on the market.
But what does catnip do to cats? What is catnip made of? Is catnip a drug? For those of you cats out there who are not in the know, the answers given by the fur-vey’s respondents are extremely revealing, highlighting why cats use catnip, and what makes Cat Crack the best of the bunch. We outline the results below: will you agree with them?
A Word From Cat Crack's Kingpin
Self-made cat and former Projects street urchin Kingpin, the Head of the Cat Crack Co-Operative, said this on hearing the news:
“Sweet. I couldn’t ask for a better reward for all the hard work and commitment my team has shown in taking Cat Crack to the top of the charts. When I’ve asked them to step up, they’ve stepped up. When I’ve asked them to stop drooling and interrupt their zoomies because there’s work to do, they have always responded, albeit after a brief snooze. But most of all, I’d like to thank our kitty customers – Cat Crack speaks for itself, and our customers speak for us. The real successes of Cat Crack have been those endlessly positive customer reviews and our ever-popular pledge to offer free hits to all. Those things mean we don’t have to advertise, and our lovely customers come to us. We couldn’t be more grateful.”
Online testimonials report that Cat Crack leaves all other catnips in the dust. It’s a hit amongst both discerning, experienced felines, and also with cats who usually turn their pretty little noses up at catnip.
The fur-vey highlights four main areas in which Cat Crack beats ‘cat crap’ – the other products which it out-performed in this exhaustive poll. Here they are…
The Four Reasons That 8 Out of 10 Cats Prefer Cat Crack
1. Potency
Nepetalactone is the now mythical active ingredient which makes good cat nip the best thing in cat-land since cat food. If you feel in the mood for feline frolics when you have a sniff or a roll of the good stuff, then nepetalactone is why. Nepetalactone binds to cat-specific receptors in your schnoz. Then, it triggers the part of the kitty brain that deals with emotions and empathy.
The higher the concentration, the more whisker-twitching the effects, and of all the cat nips out there, none have a higher nepetalactone content than Cat Crack, which comes in at a heart-pumping, bone-shaking, pheromone-buzzing 78% potency. Cat Crack’s elevated nepetalactone levels ensure even the most finicky feline gets a paws-itively purr-fect piece of hormone-tweaking fun. It’s no wonder cats are falling head-over-tails for it.
One purr-ticipant in the fur-vey noted that Cat Crack made his “zoomies ten times funnier for everyone involved,” whilst another said it made him feel “higher than a Kitty Corp tower block.”
2. Natural Ingredients
The ingredients in Cat Crack are the cat’s pajamas. Some cat nip products are grown with the use of pesticides and chemical fertilizers, which are not good for feline health. Ensuring your cat nip is organically grown removes this risk. Cat Crack is famously made from 100% natural, non-GMO catnip, watered with pristine Rocky Mountain snowmelt, ensuring every leaf is nurtured with pure, unadulterated, crystal-clear water. This focus on natural, quality ingredients ensures a meow-nificently ‘clean’ hit of the high potency herb – it really is the cream of the crop.
Cat Crack fans from the poll commented on its “pure hit, feel-good factor and hangover-free moments after,” along with its “green credentials, and heart-warming support for its community of quality cultivators.”
3. Freshness
Fresh catnip retains its aromatic qualities, which are key to driving you wild, and users describe Cat Crack as being as fresh as a daisy. Cat Crack catnip is stored in climate-controlled conditions to maintain its peak freshness and potency. Packaging in resealable containers helps keep it from going stale, ensuring that every pinch you sprinkle is just as potent as the first. Those who chose Cat Crack as their favorite catnip frequently mentioned its freshness, noting its “lasting aroma” and “real deal feel.”
4. Production Quality
High-quality catnip is all about the flower tops and leaves where most of the nepetalactone is found, whereas many inferior products sneak in lots of stems and other filler materials to bulk things out, making the catnip overall less pleasant and less potent, leaving you ‘feline’ disappointed. “What you are paying for here,” says Kingpin, “is padding. Some stems are inevitable – completely stem-free catnip would cost more to process than we think people should have to pay. But at the lowest end of the price scale, you really do get what you pay for – the cheapest catnips are invariably stuffed full of stems.” Users meanwhile describe Cat Crack’s “reassuring consistency” and “commitment to quality.”
Full results of the poll will be published in tomorrow’s Daily Mews. Rival catnip producer Kitty Corp - whose products were proven last year to be of inferior quality, according to all these measures and metrics, and frequently more expensive too – were not available for a meow-based comment.
Are you a cat? Have you not tried Cat Crack? Grab a free hit.