Welcome to Whisker City. As cats, we're known to be mysterious. To humans, we're an enigma. We enjoy that reputation. But the truth is: we know what we like. And even more importantly, perhaps, we know what we don't like: the things that make us feel anxious, scratchy, or give us the ick. Basically, if we are running away, hissing, not eating properly, shedding fur, and looking miserable, take a hint! But what's the cause?
It can be a minefield, so we've written this handy guide for humans, who a lot of the time, seem to be flailing around without a clue – or maybe you just give us cheap cat food for fun? Read on to see the list in full…
Explained: Ten Things Cats Like and Dislike
1. Cats Like: Quiet.
Cats Dislike: Noise.
We have sensitive hearing, so loud noises like fireworks, vacuum cleaners, washing machines, cars, building work, hair-dryers, blenders, the music of Metallica, the TV when older people listen to it, the crinkling of a plastic bag, unhappy human infants, and finally, thunderstorms, can all be anxiety-inducing, and are all your fault. If we are anxious, try a pheromone spray, or better still and much more fun, give us cat nip. People often ask, 'What does catnip do to cats?'. It's not just about sending us crazy; it also makes us feel nice and chilled, baby!
2. Cats Like: Ourselves.
Cats Dislike: Others.
Right. Strap yourself in – this is a pretty long list. We dislike most cats we don't know – especially unneutered males. Yuk. They can be particularly aggressive due to their territorial nature. Dogs are generally ridiculous, but we especially dislike large, over-enthusiastic mutts and small, yappy ones. Large rodents – they can bite. We dislike them. Large birds. Small twittery birds are annoying but tasty - large, flappy, territorial birds - magpies and crows for example - just no! Snakes, lizards, anything that bites or stings – go away. Bees and wasps – at first, an interesting, spicy snack, but then…bad. Spiders – too many legs to make a good snack, and they can also sometimes pack a punch. Farm animals – they're just big and clumsy. Then there's wildlife, like foxes and coyotes – they want to eat us. And finally, of course, humans. We often like our humans – others, less so. If we are agitated, try some of the best catnip money can buy. It works!
3. Cats Like: Gentle, Natural Smells.
Cats Dislike: Strong and Especially Artificial Smells.
Bleach, air fresheners, cheap non-beeswax candles you bought from that homey store your aunt always liked: they all sting our eyes! Booo to that sort of thing. Oh, and while we're on the subject of smells, for goodness sake, clean out our litter boxes once in a while if we use them. We're pretty clean, right? But you're not helping. If we can't maintain our personal hygiene, we get very upset.
4. Cats Like: Stability.
Cats Dislike: Change.
Don't mess with our routine – or our habitat. As far as we are concerned, moving house is a biiiig no-no. Missing meal times? Not OK. Unexpected visitors: why?! Too many holidays or nights way – selfish. (Although we partly ignore you on your return just for fun). These things make us feel insecure, so stop it; we don't like it.
5. CatsLike: Lots of Good Food.
Cats Dislike: Any Bad Food:
Food for cats, is much like catnip for cats – it's pretty essential! We're very particular. We are willing to show incredible brand loyalty, until we arbitrarily decide we want to eat something else. Deal with it. As a general rule though, cheap, ultra-processed food doesn't satisfy our natural hunting instincts.
6. Cats Like: Being Adored.
Cats Dislike: Being Ignored.
Don't prioritize the dog. Don't push us off your lap. Don't go away. Get off your screen. Adore us – when we feel like it.
7. Cats Like: Things That Feel Nice.
Cats Dislike: Things That Don't Feel Nice.
Scratching posts, carpets, dusty paving slabs, lavender bushes, banisters, warm stoves - all good.Certain textures and fabrics – leather armchairs, for example – are often just not for us. I can't tell you what the rest will be or why; you'll just have to adapt and get rid of such furniture. Otherwise, we simply won't be able to sit on or claw it. Sparse, minimalist furniture design is not appreciated – nowhere to hide, nothing to sink into. Rubbish. You are not from Japan or Sweden*. (*Unless you are). Also, unless we are very unusual, the idea of a bath is not big or clever. When we're wet, we look small and pathetic. It's our natural birthright to look sleek and majestic. We're not dogs.
8. Cats Like: The Pre-Industrial Era Before There Were Cars
Cats Dislike: Cars.
Most of us dislike car rides. We sometimes show this, by making an extremely mournful meowing sound. Also, pet carriers that go into the car – bad memories = bad vibes.
9. Cats Like: Interesting Lighting and Reflections.
Cats Dislike: Upsetting Lighting and Reflections.
Dappled sunlight, lush. Laser pens are great. Mirrors, bright lights, flashing lights: less keen.
10. Cats Like: Space.
Cats Dislike: Invasions of Our Space.
When we want to, we'll come to you – that's a pretty safe rule to abide by. Persistently fiddling with us when we clearly want to be left alone may get you scratched or nipped (not cat-nipped). Staring is bad too – get out of my face. We reserve the right to dislike being picked up, hugged tightly, having our faces touched, being held or confined, shut inside or over-stimulated. Basically, just back off a bit and chill out, and we'll probably get along just fine.
And finally, one more for luck. We really like…Catnip!
Like: Best Catnip. Always read the label and the reviews. You need it to be 100% natural, with high potency (78%+ nepetalactone). Go for the best - Cat Crack catnip really is kitty crack for the masses. Grab a free hit and discover for yourself.
Dislike: Bad Catnip. Not natural, low potency, too many stalks – which can be unpleasant to sniff, eat and roll in – bad reviews. Avoid.
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So, humans, does that help? Do you 'get' us a bit more now? We're a contrary bunch – so what? We're sophisticated, nuanced, classy – maybe take some lessons. Oh, and top up that bowl while you're at it.
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